243 Quotes by Steven Wright about funny
- Author Steven Wright
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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- Author Steven Wright
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If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
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- Author Steven Wright
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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- Author Steven Wright
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When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
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- Author Steven Wright
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I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me arefurious!
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on theroad an hour.
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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- Author Steven Wright
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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- Author Steven Wright
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The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
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