My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.

A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

Ain't fit for man nor beast

Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.

A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him; and it usually does.

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.