Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I never met a man that I didn't like.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

I never mewt a man I didn't like.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.