You shouldn't say anything mean about people who can't read. You should write it instead.

My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood.

Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.