I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.

The United States invariably does the right thing, after having exhausted every other alternative.