Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.