Can I speak to Sayvyer, please?”“You’re looking for the savior? At 1:15 a.m.?”“No. her name’s Sayvyer.”“There’s no savior here. Especially not at 1:15 a.m.

Dating someone exclusively for four months in New York is like four years in Anchorage.

The male tax?”“Yeah. The tax that men have to pay for not having to menstruate every month. Or risk getting pregnant. Or deal with the physically stronger sex in a macho world… Women have to put up with all that stuff, so the least we men can do is pay the male tax and get the tab.

Check my riddle, and I’ll let you play my fiddle.

At times like these, size really does matter," I point out, at I extend my ginormous umbrella over her in a way that stops any rain droplets from falling on her.My Best Valentine's Day Ever, A Short Story by Zack Love

What’s SQ?” asked Evan.“Sexual Quotient.”“What’s that?”“Basically, it’s your odds of getting laid. Everyone has an SQ. just like everyone has an IQ.”“I’ve never heard that term before.”“That’s because I made it up.”“That figures. Finally applying your actuarial skills to what really matters, eh?

Oh. Well was this your first time painting a live model?”She nodded her head, with an almost guilty look on her face.“What’s it like?”“Hard,” she replied.

But despite these and many other differences, Evan and Heeb had become close friends – an improbability that could have been produced only by the even greater improbabilities that brought them together.

And as their penile pain began to subside, the two men were able to form more complex thoughts, resulting in a collaborative work: the development of a worldview that might be described as “penilosophy.