82 Quotes About Black-humor

In a multiverse where in every choice you have to make a new universe spawns for every choice you make I certainly leave in the one where I made a chain of every wrong choice possible

He thought he vomited out his soul. If ghosts were made of ectoplasm and ghosts were basically souls without bodies, then it was perfectly logical that the green mess all over the ground was his ectoplasmic essence.

As one veteran Russian pilot dryly told me:"We have to be very careful flying in the clouds. Around here they are full of rocks.

I don't know what it is about "magic happens"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it "so does cot death".

The dead, Your Honor, do not agonize over their crimes and do not long to be happy, as you know.

The dumber people think you are, the most surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

If anyone ever reported my death incorrectly, I'd confirm it was true on Twitter and that I was tweeting through a Ouija board.

...Be friend with Thief ... he will make you understand what is wrong doing ...

Akthent on thee latht thyllable.