2,024 Quotes About Christmas

Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. Topo Gigio

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?

Christmas and Easter can be subjects for poetry, but Good Friday, like Auschwitz, cannot. The reality is so horrible it is not surprising that people should have found it a stumbling block to faith.

For the most part, Christmas is here and everyone is taking a well-deserved break, including Wall Street. Unless there's a significant deviation from expectations on the economic data, I'd be surprised if the market closed more than 30 points either way.

Christmas proved to be less difficult than people were expecting. Retailers expected a dull Christmas, so they didn't overstock and have had less discounting to do.

You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.

Glen had a disability more disfiguring than a burn and more terrifying than cancer. Glen had been born on the day after Christmas. "My parents just combine my birthday with Christmas, that's all," he explained. But we knew this was a lie. Glen's parents just wrapped a couple of his Christmas presents in birthday-themed wrapping paper, stuck some candles in a supermarket cake, and had a dinner of Christmas leftovers.

Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family...