1,680 Quotes About Comedy

Nobody touches my ding dongs!

As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread.

When men were ready to marry, look out. Their evolution busted out all over. They nabbed the closest female hanging out near their caves, anyone who looked like she would clean his wooly mammoth tunics down by the creek, keep his fires burning, bear his children, and tote his brood around on a fur-clad hip.--Ellie Overton

Hagyj csak most békét, aki kettőt boncol, Az alaposan egynek sem felel meg. És innen jő a félszeg művelődés. Aki csizmát varr, az csiríz legyen Utósó ízeig, mi gondja másra. Ki a holdat kutatja, e világra Ne légyen gondja, és aki tanít, Őrizkedjék akármit is tanulni. Csak egy van, mit mindennek tudni kell, Adót fizetni engedelmesen. Így készül a derék sok szaktudós.

STROOM Legyen buta, csak jó polgár legyen. Ki mondja azt, hogy a lángész szükséges? Az államban eszünk nekünk elég van S gondoskodunk eléggé a tömegről. Annak nem is kell a fej, csak azért, Hogy sógorom, a kalapos megéljen. Aztán ne hidd, hogy úgy lesz csak buta, Ha a színházban készül. Gondoskodtunk Már oly rendszerről és oly eszközökről, Hogy készüljön bár a Sion hegyén, Butává nemesül. Hidd el nekem. -

Death is complicated."-Johann Kraus

The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat.

Adams dealt him so sound a Compliment over his Face with his Fist, that the Blood immediately gushed out of his Nose in a Stream. The Host being unwilling to be outdone in Courtesy, especially by a Person of Adams's Figure, returned the Favour with so much Gratitude, that the Parson's Nostrils likewise began to look a little redder than usual.

The Prince stood beside the timpanist to count his rests for him and see that he came in in the right place. I suppressed all the trumpet passages which were clearly beyond the players' grasp. The solitary trombone was left to his own devices; but as he wisely confined himself to the notes with which he was thoroughly familiar, such as A flat, D and F, and was careful to avoid all others, his success in the role was almost entirely a silent one.