1,680 Quotes About Comedy

Pastor Daniel, meanwhile, is sipping water on the balcony of a former sailing clubhouse, I ask if he can show me which parts of the Qur'an cause him concern. He tells me he's not the best person to ask.'I can introduce you to a guy – I wouldn't call myself a scholarly person on Islam.'Strange response, considering his travelling roadshow routine.

We go around the room, introducing ourselves.'I'm Hamza, I'm a friend of John's, I suppose,' he says a little reluctantly. Hamza tweeted recently that Muslims should not befriend the infidel. So I'm chuffed by his declaration. A bit like when a friend's cat hates everyone but you.

I hate comedy... Yo...-yo bitch.

So it turns out I wasn't the only Jew at the rally. There were two and a half more. Not protesting against the UPF, but supporting them? That clinches it. Skinheads side by side with Jews; immigrants against immigrants; Shermon's promise of a far-right hajj – this is a case for John Safran, Jew Detective.

You know," Kavita begins, "I think I can pick out my own furniture. I am an artist after all. I do have some taste.""No you don't." Nick plainly states. "No man has taste. Besides, I didn't pick it out, she did. Wives are good for things like that.

A truly thoughtful lover would not attempt to arouse you with the subtlety of a chimp trying to dial a rotary phone.

I want to rip the rest of those buttons open and climb him like a monkey in a banana tree. Oh God, what I would do with his banana...

And finally, I get to meet the Breakup Coach" Ryan says before we can be introduced. "I'm a big fan of your work" he says with mock admiration as I turn around. I decide I like his voice. It's not a deep Charlton Heston-like voice, but it has just the right amount of husky in it.

Who decided it's a phobia in the first place? What if I just don't want to get married ever. Just like I don't want to live in Jharkhand ever. Somehow I can say that as loud as I want and as many times as I want, yet nobody will ask me to see the shrink about my Jharkhand phobia. Why?