28 Quotes About Contemporary-comedy

Some people say Earth is the bottom level of Purgatory.' She pointed toward the floor and frowned.'I call it the top floor of Hell.

You wish for what's called wooing. This customary game, where the man shows the woman that resistance is impractical, strikes me as quite pointless.

Just in front of her lay the Congaree Swamp National Forest. To prove it, a mosquito the size of a kitten landed on her arm and prepared to drill.

I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.

Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?

While I had no intention of hooking up with him, I still wanted him to want to hook up with me.It was the principle of the thing, after all.

I've also been known to cry during MasterCard commercials.

I could run, too, but my feet hurt. It's tough being a fashion vixen.

Leave before I have to rip your eyes out with my dull Lady Bic razor.