1,617 Quotes About Dad

The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.

I want a tutor,” Layla said. “It would make doing homework so much easier.”“Me too,” said Kaitlyn. “If Layla gets one, I get one.”“No daughter of mine will ever have a tutor,” Dad said.“What if we’re failing a course?” asked Layla.His graying eyebrows drew together. “If you fail a single course, young lady, we will pull you out of school and get you a job scrubbing toilets for the rest of your life.

You're not gay, are you?What?!I mean you've never had a boyfriend. And you're not exactly...girly.I'm not gay. I'm just unpopular.

Bill walked slowly to Cara's dressed and leaned on the edge, folding his arms as the pine creaked under his weight. Even the furniture feared this man.

... You can't outrun your problems, Daisy. They'll be just be waiting for you when you come back.

He didn't say a lot so I tend to remember what he did say. And I don't remember that he had a lot of patience with havin to say things twice so I learned to listen the first time.

I LOVE YOU, AMERICA. AND I'M SO, SO PROUD. -DAD

I have many weaknesses, and among them is a stubborn determination to keep all my children close to me. I think it stems from the years I had to spend in warfare, when I scarcely saw them at all.

A mustache sends a visual message to the mating population of Earth that says, "No thank you. I have procreated. My DNA is out in the world, and so I no longer deserve physical affection. Instead, it is time for me to turn away from sex and toward new pursuits, the classic weird dad hobbies such as puns, learning trivia about bridges and wars, and dreaming about societal collapse and global apocalypse.