80 Quotes About Email

Be with someone who emails you when you switch off Social media.

Subject: SundownDate: June 14 2011 09:35To: Christian GreyDear Completely & Utterly SmittenI love waking up with you, too. But I love being in bed with you and in elevators and on pianos and billiard tables and boats and desks and showers and bathtubs and strange wooden crosses with shackles and four poster beds with red satin sheets and boathouses and childhood bedrooms.YoursSex Mad and Insatiable xx

I've started researching online journals for the project. Thanks for decoding Dr. Heller's notes before sending them to me. If you'd have forwarded them to me without a translation, I'd be searching for a tall building/overpass/water tower from which to yell "goodbye cruel world.

Subject: This is a work environment and this is harassmentMr. Zaccadelli,I am writing to inform you that your proposition has been rejected. Due to both the fact that we are coworkers, as well as roommates, I would find it inappropriate to “visit the stacks” with you. I will reject all further offers at this time. If, in the future, I decide to entertain such an offer, I will inform you via correspondence.Respectfully (not) yours,Miss Taylor CaldwellP.S. Stop fucking emailing me.

Subject: You're totally picturing me naked right nowMissy,So how about you and I head up to the stacks to do some “shelving”?

Subject: Not a chanceMissy,I accept your challenge, and may I remind you, that if you want me to leave you alone, there is that little bet we have going. Win it, and I'm gone.Impatiently (and nakedly) yours,Mr. Hunter Aaron Zaccadelli, esquire.P.S. Bring it on.

Subject: Get back to workMissy,You're distracting me from the very important topic of workplace safety. How would you feel if I improperly climbed a ladder due to not learning the proper procedure and then fell to my death?Always,The Boy You Dream AboutP.S. I'm also a lost prince from a faraway land. Want to do me now?

My computer terminal whistles at me: YOU HAVE MAIL. No shit, Sherlock, I always have mail. It's an existential thing: if I don't have mail it would mean that something is very wrong with the world

Yours most sincerely,Peter Van Houtenc/o Lidewij Vliegnthart“WHAT?!” I shouted aloud. “WHAT IS THIS LIFE?