316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

My smile wavers as I revert to my natural state of being: nervous and weird.

If you seriously believe that your imaginary guy up in the sky told you to kill people of a differing faith and religion, your illusory pal is a dickhead. And of course and therefore, analogically speaking, so are you, shithead.

I get the feeling humanity would be thrilled to discover life on another planet. So why not rediscover it here and really cherish it.

You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.

Alice smiled her wide smile. The crooked incisor smile.

I shook my head. “I thought you had a ‘No princesses’ rule.”“Rules are made to be broken,” said Grimm.Ari sat back in the chair, her eyes closed.“Of course, young lady, there’s the matter of how we sign our contracts.”“Not gonna happen.” Ari threw a pen at the mirror for emphasis.

Hey, don’t knock it. It still runs. Most of the time, even after I turn it off.” Jo

Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can’t kiss people in the morning?

I’ve said over and over, I’d do anything for you. I just keep hoping it’ll be something like, ‘Adrian, let’s go hot tubbing’ or ‘Adrian, take me out for fondue.’”“Well, sometimes we have to—did you say fondue? Why in the world would I ever say that?”He shrugged. “I like fondue.