316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

Well," said Clary, after a judicious pause, "I guess you wouldn't have taken advantage of her when she's so grief-stricken and all." Simon snorted. "If you ever meet the man who could take advantage of Isabelle, you'll have to let me know. I'd like to shake his hand. Or run away from him very fast, I'm not sure which.

Her dad must be a big guy. He pictured a muscular man with a baseball hat on backwards, smoking a cigarette, and drinking a bottle of Wild Turkey while watching underground cockfighting tapes.

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

How close to the moon does the tooth fairy soarwith her arms so full she can hold no more?Could the tiny bright stars that hang in the skybe the teeth that fell down as she flew by?

My childhood was a drag show!

I bet the very first piñata was surprised. “Oh, hey a party! Cool! What’s the occa— HEY, WHAT THE HELL, KID?

A question that always makes me hazy is it me or are the others crazy'Albert Einstein

Dogs are angels full of poop.

If at first you don't succeed, lower you expectations