316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

I rolled my eyes. “Do all narcotics officers lack basic humancompassion, or were you just not hugged enough as a child?”Trust Me

Martin was dafter than a syphilitic polecat - where do I get these metaphors from?

Darling Daddy,This is Rose.So flames went all up the kitchen wall. Saffron called the fire brigade and the police came too to see if it was a trick and the police woman said to Saffron Here You Are Again because of when I got lost having my glasses checked. But I was with Tom whose grandmother is a witch on top of the highest place in town.Love, Rose.

I do know you're nothing like him. But you're still....still a lot. A lot to handle. I don't mean your junk, obviously, as we've not gotten to the fondling-bits stage yet. And I can't believe I just talked about your junk.

why can't you place a blessing like that on us," I asked."It only works on wild animals," "So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned.

You know your all fucks! why am i so dichable? now how am i supposed to kill you with out upseting that poor nice women!? God damnit alice i liked you why did you have to be such a bitch

I'm happy for the kid and everything, but how the fuck does Lio get a friend before me? I live here. 'I told you I could do it :)' Lio IMs me. I want to rip out that smiley's eyes.

I’ve got to get my body back. While I like wearing you, I’d rather wear you as a blanket on top of me and not the skin I’m walking around in. It has this whole Hannibal Lecter aspect that’s really creeping me out.”Jo“Hannibal Lecter?” Cadegan“It’s a TV show and book character. Not really important. Like a wombat in a blender.” Jo“I’m not sure what this blender is, but I think I should be feeling bad for that poor wombat.” Cadegan

I was shameless in my supermarket-shelf mass-market taste. I loved King, Evanovich, Grisham and Brown. I won't lie; the oficial-looking filing cabinet in the corner is actually stuffed full of my paperbacks.