316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

Dear Fly, I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit.

Even the Thanksgiving when her parents had just divorced, Hoosier Pie made the cut. ...They also, incidentally, made a pumpkin pie, but it fell on the floor, a classic example of survival of the fittest

Woman. Buckle

I didn't know where this stuff was coming from - all of a sudden I was a little magickal sprite, bonding with my stone, feeling my earth roots, la la la...All I can is describe the way it felt. And that was how it felt. So sue me.Was I swaying? I felt like I might be swaying.

I should have known the power-hungry slave drivers at River's Edge would see my five days of freedom only as a challenge to be filled.

Jesus H. Christ on ice and Mary in the penalty box!

If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great.

He'd have to turn on his high-voltage charm with these people. Should work. They were only used to 12V battery power after all-he'd dazzle them.

He had bright elfin eyes and a knowledgeable ass.