316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

« Quote of the day: “Friendship is like peeing your pants; everyone can see it but only you can feel it».

If You're Gonna Ride My Ass, At Least Pull My Hair!

What's purple mean?"Adrian put his hand on the door. "Gotta go, Sage. Dont want to keep Dorothy waiting

And I figured you'd drive a four-hour round-trip before giving up your car to someone else

He looked up at Stig and Hal. 'Told you this one was a keeper.' Lydia flushed as the two boys smiled. 'Shut up. You make sure you do your stuff with those two overgrown dinner bowls you call shields.

My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names." I pointed to my right breast. "This is Danger." Then my left. "And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly."After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?"I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much...

Poseidon's underpants! You can't be serious.

Right now, I couldn't have cared less if someone had waltzed across the room in a large flower costume with a sign saying GET YOUR BLACK TULIPS HERE. Every nerve in my body was on man-alert, screaming, "incoming!

I'm so good" I taunt him as i ease back bouncing on my calves like he does, and playfully sticking out my tongue. He totally misses that for hes watching my breast bounce. "real good" he says getting back into position. His eyes have darkened in a way that makes my insides roil with heat, and i decide this moment hes distracted with my girls is better then any.