316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

Instead I sounded like a little girl on her first day of kindergarten. My name is Bee, and I like coloring and horsies.

One fall day in Boston, a tall mechanical engineering student named Joe entered the student union at Harvard University. He was all ambition and acne

Ava, will you watch your fucking mouth?’ he sighs, but there’s relief in his voice. I’m half tempted to tell him to fetch the anti-bacterial solution and spray it in my mouth.

[Razo] knocked, peered inside, then jumped and shut the door, quiet as brushing two feathers together. He smiled at his own stealth, then swaggered right into a chair, banging it against the wall.You oaf. He cut short his swagger and began to move with exaggerated sneakiness.

Nothing will go wrong,Micheal said soothingly. Me and you? We've been through to much together. And your too unpleasant to die.Too bossy.God will keep you down here for a while until you learn your lesson and start learning to work and play well with others. Now your talking.Will you go with me a week from Friday when I get my biopsy? Wild horses and an evil head nurse with rubber gloves couldn't keep me away.Now your just being gross.

I Don't care which president is sucking your dick at the moment, I will not be a party to the killing of innocent men!

Shut up, idiot,” he growled.“Oops,” Ian replied, looking uncomfortable. “I feel stupid, now.”Peter shook his head. “That's the understatement of the year.

Leave me alone, or I will shoot,” a woman’s husky voice rang out through the broken window. “I'm not too afraid to blow your ass right back to whatever hell you come from.

I guess it’s worth a shot.” More than likely a wasted bullet, but I’ll fire anyway.