48 Quotes About Funny-life

If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything.

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

If life is just a highway, then the soul is just a car. And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.

Life is a crowded superhighway with bewildering cloverleaf exits on which a man is liable to find himself speeding back in the direction he came.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.