59 Quotes About Funny-marriage

Marriage is like retiring as a bachelor and getting a sexual pension. You don't have to work for the sex any more, but you only get 65% as much.

You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about?

Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn't be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he's the person I want to strain with.

I have trouble saying hu ... hu ... husband.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!