528 Quotes About Hilarious

(Therapist:) "It's interesting that you drew yourself with this little golden crown on your head. What does the crown mean to you?" "That's not a crown," she told him. "That's a nimbus of outrage.

I had no idea he was barely one step up from a monkey ~ Retta

The man's name was Booth, and he had to piss.

You'll be better able to climb and descend stairs like a healthy person as opposed to a broken runner who navigates steps like landmines.

A sudden douche of terror then squirted itself all over Dixon. After a moment he realized that this was because he had a plan and was about to carry it out. He panted a little with the enormity of it, then drained his glass and said quaveringly: "Here goes then. Good-bye for now.

Astrid, did you grow a penis?” my Uncle asked, forgetting his dilemma as he stared in surprise at the unsightly bulge poking out of my ever-shrinking attire.“No,” I shouted as he blanched and backed…" - A Fashionably Dead Christmas by Robyn Peterman

I’ll say,” Pam chimed in with an enormous eye roll.“I’m pretty sure you just rolled your eyes so hard you checked out your own ass,” I snapped." - Fashionably Dead and Wed by Robyn Peterman.

Yi Xiu had run out, and hadn't come back. At nine o'clock, Chen Guo ran out of the Internet Cafe to look around, but didn't see him coming back, so she muttered to Tang Rou, "where'd he run off to? Could he have crashed into a tree?""I'm sure you'd be happy if that happened! Tang Rou said.

Tsk tsk, Wenzhou really is amazing. It's just to bad that his hand is handicapped." Ye Xiu said."He's standing right behind me..." Huang Shaotian replied."Then his hand isn't handicapped?" Ye Xiu said."Captain..." Huang Shaotian turned his head to look at Yu Wenzhou with an innocent expression.Yu Wenzhou only laughed, "it's the truth. My hands really are handicapped."Your trash talk is having no effect on our team captain," Huang Shaotian replied.