528 Quotes About Hilarious

After I retired, I made him a hobby of mine""A hobby?""I'm shitty at quilting. I had to do something.

What, I pray you, is of such vast importance that I be roused from my couch?

Who was that?""A one-night stand that didn't want to let go."Alexis looked over the sea of people, trying to find the woman.  "There seems to be a lot of those.""Too late to change my past now, but if I could, I would."Alexis gave him a disbelieving smirk.  "Are you saying, if you could have changed things, you would've waited for me?"He gave her his wicked grin.  "I'm saying I would have found you sooner.

I grunted, hauling the rope hand over hand. A plaintive squeak came from the pulley system with each draw, as if I had strapped some unfortunate mouse to a torture device and was twisting with glee.

Oh, my God!" Ignatius bellowed from the front of the house. "What an egregious insult to good taste.

あなたはこれを何のためにも翻訳しなかった！

Talc: You have been found guilty of misleading and perverting the young. I decree that you be hung by your underdeveloped testicles until dead. ZORRO

People have been sleeping and/or marrying their way to the top since the first cavewoman said: ‘Ugh, that one’s the strongest and has the biggest club. I’ll shake my mastodon-skin-covered ass at him.’”“Ugh?”“Or whatever cave people said. And it’s not just women who do it. Cave guy goes: ‘Ugh, that one catches the most fish, I’ll be dragging her off to my cave now.’ Ava sees Tommy and—”“Says ugh.”“Or today’s equivalent thereof.”-Eve & Roarke. .

You & I Both Know That You're NOT the New Orleans PD's Favorite Son! - Sam Deeds