528 Quotes About Hilarious

Rod Cockshutt, Professor Emeritus at N.C. State University called my book, Evidence of Insanity, "an extraordinary achievement" and told me to not change the last 10-15 pages no matter what.

Daniel?”I raise an eyebrow to match his expression. “Holder?”“What are you up to?”“I do not know what you are talking about,” I reply innocently.“You do know what I am talking about because when you are lying, you do not use contractions when you speak.”I ponder his observation for a few seconds. Is that true?Shit. It’s true.

Honey, are you being safe?''I wear my seat belt, yes.''Does this Rob Lovely wear a seat belt too?'Matty sighed. 'Mother, seat belts should be worn at all times when in a moving vehicle. Didn't you teach me that?''So long as we're both talking about condoms here, then I'll leave it.''Consider it left.

(Matty) 'I'm going to a corn maze.'(Elliot) 'Oh, bitch. You've lost your ever-loving mind.

Give it up, mister! No sex for you!" I yelled at the wall as my girls cackled maniacally."Tons of sex for me, sister. None for you!" he yelled all too clearly through the wall.

What the—who the—what the fucking fuck?

Matty blinked. 'You're passing up whips for shopping?''You're bitching about shopping?' Rob countered.'I feel so torn!' Matty pulled at his hair. 'Oh my god. You suck.

I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region.

It made her want to have his babies and give him both her kidneys.