528 Quotes About Hilarious

Are they Russian by way of the Ozarks?

somewhere between hello and I want this job, he'd lost all business sense and hired the pretty lady just because she wanted the job. Was it because she turned him into a seventeen-year-old with raging hormones?

The alien in my uncle hand obviously taken full control. Soon, it would claw its way out of his stomach and tap dance across my bed

Delores is a gorgeous name, for a gorgeous girl. Plus, it rhymes with clitoris...and I really know my way around them. Big fan.

No' seems such a flimsy and inadequate little word to express how very little interest I have in hearing you rambling on about that particular topic.

It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time.

When the officer approached the window, he said ‘Papers’ and before he could finish, I shouted, ‘Scissors! I win,’ and drove off.

... I have just experienced the most passionate kiss I've ever received from a guy, and it was on the freaking forehead!

It's brain," I said; "pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot of fish, or something. Do you eat a lot of fish, Jeeves?""No, sir.""Oh, well, then, it's just a gift, I take it; and if you aren't born that way there's no use worrying.