528 Quotes About Hilarious

I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid.

I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.

Psychiatry is a pseudoscience.... You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do...Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even -you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is.

Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.

Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.