528 Quotes About Hilarious

Take your risks now; as you become older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on.

Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better.

There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I thought Europe was a country?

All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years.

I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband.