26 Quotes About Humor-irony-death-zombie

Don't we all hope to die with a smile on our faces?

I don’t like being kidnapped. Or manipulated.”“I’ve done neither, silly. Though I’d like to hear about your other kidnap incidents. The aspects that put you off the experience.

Women, when they kill themselves, choose far more romantic methods - like slashing their wrists or taking an overdose of sleeping pills.Abandoned princesses and Hollywood actresses have provided numerous examples of this.

It reminds me of an old joke: What did the Zombie say to the whore?" I looked at him blankly. "Um....what?" He winked. "Keep the tip.

Still, waking up this early was just wrong. “Why can’t people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?” I whined.

But then again, I was about as far from touchy-feely as you could get. Unless you’re fucking me, don’t put your hands on me.

Look, I know this is the last thing you want to talk about, but I wanted to ask you . . . .” He trailed off, looking strangely uneasy.“Ask me . . . ?” Ask me to dinner? Ask me out for drinks? Ask me if I wanted to see what he looked like under that uniform? Yow, where’d that last one come from?

Lying on the metal table in front of me was a middle-aged man decked out in absolutely nothing at all. A dead man. Buck-ass naked with his little shriveled junk right there for everyone to see.

Hey, look, I thought with a miserable laugh, this day just got worse.