177 Quotes About Humor-relationships

I don't want a new man.""I'll be dead someday," my mother said. "And then what? You'll wish you had someone.""I have a hamster.

That's because we were together for two years and she led me on a treacherous journey through bitchy, across frigid, and into the land of cheating psycho. I barely escaped with my life. It required a week of solid moping just so my balls could grow back.

I am afraid it is quite clear, Cecily, that neither of us is engaged to be married to any one.

She pushed the car. But I was so distracted that i forgot to push the button on the timer, so we had to do the whole thing again. Which Lindsey found hilarious. "Ok" she said. "Are you ready NOW, or do we have to send you back to Button Pushing one-oh-one?" "Um, what's Button Pushing One-oh-one?" I was wearing a button down shirt that day. Lindsey reached out and poked one of the buttons into my chest. "There, that's how you push a button. Any questions?

It won't be whiskey, won't be methIt'll be your name on my last breathIf divorce or death ever do us partThe coroner will call it a broken heart

I have something very important to say to you, but I can't tell you what it is. It's a very important thing, but I'll tell you another time.