5,226 Quotes About Humour

Isabelle: Do you want some soup?Jace: NoIsabelle: Do you think Hodge will want some soup?Jace: No one wants soupSimon: I want some soup!Jace: No, you don't. You just want to sleep with Isabelle

Headline?" he asked."'Swing Set Needs Home,'" I said."'Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'" he said."'Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'" I said.

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can’t

That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: it said, 'goodbye

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?

A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.