5,226 Quotes About Humour

Companies may never come up with a better office communication program than a lunch break.

Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you.

Excuse me,” she said, her voice tight. “But if I’d known there was going to be a firearms examination at the end of the kidnapping, by God, I would have studied for it!

We never actually have serious conversations about anything for more than 20 seconds. So there’s a beautiful superficiality to our relationship which sometimes gets covered up by all the genuine affection flowing back and forth.

Basically, dating is like climbing a volcano and you never know when it’s going to erupt, dumping molten lava and burning you

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale.

Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a romantic evening, unless you happened to be a twisted exterminator, he thought.

...I have to go home and get a few things done. If I don’t get out the Pledge soon, the dust bunnies are going to be leaving tracks on my furniture...

They’d be complaining about having to walk, and screeching at me to ‘do something, Freddy, do something!’”“But what could you do?” she said, puzzled.“Carry them, probably.” He gave her a hopeful look. “Do you want me to carry you?