93 Quotes About Humourous-situations

Most girls swoon when I talk to them. So quit ignoring me.""So go talk to them," Kara slammed her locked shut and walked away.

Mum repeated the old adage that money can't buy you everything...before adding that she prefers using credit cards instead.

Whatever the choices one make in life, there will be the outcomes. But the question is: "Will the outcomes be what one really expected?

Better yet, why don’t you tell us why you’re here?”“Last time I checked, I live here, too,” Collin said.“Not you, that…that…,” Mr. Taylor said, pointing at me with his fork.“Pig!” Regan shouted at me.Collin’s head whipped around in her direction.“I’m sorry?” I asked, caught off guard.“Pig…do you want some of the roasted pig?” she asked, holding a platter of meat.

Along with every other male of his acquaintance he loathed the Naked Chef with messianic passion and prayed for the day he suffered a fatal accident on his scooter or burst into flames with the friction of sliding down that nauseating banister. Mark hated to think how rich he must be. And the fact that a mere bloody cook was taking up space in The Times that could be filled by a train journalist. Like himself, for example. Bastard.

Snooty convent educated accents work, unless you’re trying to recover money owed to you, in which case a thick Punjabi accent embellished with expletives works like a charm.

Recession should be added to the list of natural calamities

A year ago it would have torn me up, leaving a body behind as we sped away along the interstate. Now I was just glad it was him and not me who was lying in the woods. I was a terrible Christian and a decent survivalist.

Please don't talk into the middle of other people's crotch!