118 Quotes About Maxims

Most poor people do not really aspire to end poverty; they merely aspire to escape it.

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.

We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.

We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days … or hours.

Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.

Death devours not only those who have been cooked by old age; it also feasts on those who are half-cooked and even those who are raw.