77 Quotes About Toilets

For breakfast to be called ‘in bed’ instead of ‘on top of a bed,’ the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

I'm the bathroom masterI'm a real bowl blasterDon't mess with me'Cause I can mess it up fasterWith just one flushI can make a toilet gushWhen my sister cleans it upI just turn her to mush!

The reason is that even in a fantasy there is nothing even remotely erotic about a toilet bowl. In fact, considered as an accoutrement to a sexual encounter, a toilet bowl is a real cold shower.

I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all.

There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.

Campgrounds are never comfortable. They are merely less awful than other options. In normal circumstances, if told that the nearest available toilet was half a mile away, up a dirt path frequented by animals in gastric distress, one would lock the doors and speed to civilization. When a tent or camper is involved, one is jubilant. At least this site had flush toilets!