572 Quotes About Pregnancy

I am entirely capable.""Of what, waddling up to someone and ruthlessly bumping into them?

Of course I can do this. I'm pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn't change my personality.

Remember this, for it is as true as true gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.

You can hear now. Your inner ear is formed.I shout "I love you" into the bedroom. Then I feel stupid. Then I don't. This is pretty much the story of my life.

Pregnancy seems designed to prepare you for life as a mother. You start making sacrifices nine months before the child is born, so by the time they put in an appearance you are used to giving things up for them.

They're spreading out. Look unaware and sweet and innocent.It's a little hard to look innocent when I'm as big as a house.

WARD: I’ll be home in time for dinner, honey.JUNE: Alright—I’m pregnant—Have a fine day at work, dear. WARD exits… WARD reenters.JUNE: Did you forget something, dear?WARD: What did you say?JUNE: I asked if you’d forgotten anything—

How is it that you're such an expert on home pregnancy kits?" You're asking that question of an Italian stallion like myself? The women call me 'sperm of thunder'. I don't dare stand too close for fear I may impregnate them with just a whiff of my manhood.

Then they took us to the birthing suite, which I call the electronic bullshit room because it's full of all sorts of electronic bullshit we can't fathom but are just glad to have on principle.