1,147 Quotes About Sarcasm

So I'll be wed in the Church of the Holy Incestuous Mushroom?

Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get a nice explosive package from him that says "so nice to see you again" in a way that only multi-megaton yields can.

I bet she thought she was getting into a fight with a vanilla wafer on roller skates but little did she know she was getting into a fight with a spider sandwich.

I try to smile at her, but I can't extend my flexibility training to my mouth, it just won't move.

Your cell phone is on the nightstand. Call me immediately if something changes. I don’t care if you are merely dizzy or if you start seeing pink dragons, do you understand?” I solemnly swear I will call you the second a pink dragon shows up.

The best defense against sarcasm is to take it literally.

America: It's a free country; that is if you can afford it.

Tai šitaip, gerbiamas inteligente, ir žiūrėkite į visą šitą reikalą, neraudonuokite it toji gimnazistė, pamačiusi šviežią agurką...

Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense.  I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all.