If you ever have to give a speech, start with a joke, if you know one. For years I've been looking for the best joke in the world. I think I know what it is. I will tell it to you, but you have to help me. You have to say, "No," when I hold up my hand like this. All right? Don't let me down.Do you know why cream is so much more expensive than milk?AUDIENCE: No.It is because the cows hate to squat on those bottles.

-Kurt Vonnegut

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