If only I'd listened to my Uncle Poo-poo and gone into dentistry," whined Pepsi."If I'd stayed home, I'd be big in encyclopedias by now," sniffled Moxie."And if I had ten pounds o' ciment and a couple o' sacks, you'd a' both gone for a stroll in that pond an hour ago," said Spam.
-The Harvard Lampoon
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