8 Quotes by Alison Umminger

Before my mom decided she was a lesbian, I thought lesbians were all these really nice, earthy, crunchy, let's smother you with our twenty extra pounds of lady love and fight the power people.

He wasn't just a psychopath, he was an asshole. Who cares why anyone wanted to listen to him?

China definitely sounded worse than Atlanta

The devil you know” may be the saying, but crazy is always a million times more interesting when you’re just getting introduced, shaking hands, and deciding whether or not you’re going to give your real email address.

Never underestimate the power of youth – not in Los Angeles, at any rate. You can never be too young or too dumb.

The real danger wasn’t violence like you saw on the television news, random and exciting – the real danger was the vampiric kind, the sort that you invited in because it told you everything you wanted to hear. Charles Manson could never have been Charles Manson if there hadn’t been girls by the dozen, ready and willing, scarred by the silent cruelty behind those carefully locked doors.

When we studied the 1920s, he pretended that cell phones were illegal and made half the class narcs, and then he had us read The Great Gatsby.

People like to imagine that they get a girl who’s been depressed, or confused, or desperate, and it’s so romantic and exciting, but they definitely don’t want to imagine what she might have really done. Trust me. I know of what I speak. Tragic is interesting but only if there was no collateral damage, and there always is.