47 Quotes by Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

It's a play where something went wrong, 'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long. If you sit there, my friend, From beginning 'til end, Then your bladder better be strong!

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.

Our act started at the bottom and went downhill.

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

Well, you might as well imitate your own program because if you don't, someone else will.

I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

I have always lived beyond my means. I am still trying to live beyond my means, but it is getting harder all the time. I am very rich.