47 Quotes by Allan Sherman

When they told Missus Cohen that she'd lost her man, She said 'Must you interrupt me when I'm playing 'Pan'?' Then she said to her partner, Missus R. J. Rosen, 'Cohen was a lovely husband, but he's no good frozen.

Four times I looked for psychiatric help, and each time I arrived at the inescapable conclusion that the psychiatrist was crazier than I was.

In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed.

You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

There's Beatles books and T-shirts and rings, and one thing and another. To buy my daughter all these things, I had to sell her brother.

Love is lovelier the 7th time around.

Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting."