625 Quotes by Bill Watterson

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

Now what state do you live in?''Denial.