233 Quotes by Billy Connolly

Sometimes there's a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I've ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.

Oh, I can picture myself rattling along Route 66 on that thing, headphones on, singing along to ZZ Top's 'Sharp Dressed Man' or the opening line from 'Born to be Wild' by Steppenwolf - 'Get your motor running...' The trike brings out that in all of us, which is no bad thing. Forget Viagra, get yourself a trike!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

When I read 'Be real, don't get caught acting,' I thought, 'How the hell do you do that?'.

I don't aim to offend.

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

I can't believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.