395 Quotes by Bob Hope

  • Author Bob Hope
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    Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

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