103 Quotes by Bob Odenkirk

That ship has not only sailed but has been dry-docked and turned into a museum.

An Angel of the Lord came unto me. I thought that was cool. Worth mentioning, anyways.

TECHNOLOGY must be DESTROYED or at least LOOKED UPON WITH SKEPTICISM. The TURNING POINT was the manufacture of the MOST RECENT iPHONE. Everything up until then was PERFECT, and perfectly in line with Nature and God’s wishes.

CHEMISTRY has also failed and bewildered us as a people, and continues to baffle and bum me OUT. What is it? At what point have you broken things down enough and now you’re just playing with increasingly SMALL PARTICLES that no one can see or even remember the name of? Everything smaller than “a teaspoon” is really not necessary and only serves to ANGER me and fuel my PLAN.

UPON MY DEATH, at my wake, if you’re going to have a small coffee-service area, somebody put a bowl of BRUSSELS SPROUTS out AS A SNACK…that’ll show everyone.

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. When I have failed miserably, that, too, was on the shoulders of giants—giant fuckups, that is.

It’s the year 3012 and all food is gluten-free. No restaurant, grocery, or bakery serves anything with gluten in it, and guess what? Everything still tastes great. ...The amount of time people save by not having to ask—or answer—the question “Is that gluten-free?” when ordering food has lengthened every individual’s life span by an estimated fourteen hours. This “extra time” is used by most people to write negative reviews on the Internet of things they see or hear or have heard about.

Fat fingers dance acrossthe clattering keyboardGrinding out meaningEnnobling the actionsOf real men doing something tangiblefor a livingAnd not sitting on their asses“analyzing” shit.Pathetic.—Baseball Players’ Poems about Sportswriters and Sportswriting

It is so weird to be on this side of that, because when you're starting out, and it seems like you're starting out for so long, you look up to the people who have made their mark. And you sort of want to be that.