17 Quotes by Camilla Monk

Here’s one secret no one will tell you about getting laid after a date. DON’T TALK. Most girls blame either their looks or excessive timidity for their virginity. This is only true to an extent. These girls are also horribly annoying.”—Aurelia Nichols & Jillie Bean, 101 Tips to Lose Your Virginity after 25

Never in my life had I wished so hard for a thousand-foot-wide asteroid to change its course to hit someone directly in the face. Granted, it would have wiped out the entire country and possibly caused an impact winter on Earth in the process, but the greater good of mankind was worth some modicum of sacrifice.

(Regarding the Roosevelt Tram along Queensboro Bridge):"They had it renovated by the French. French cars. French cables. Cables that surrender! Would you ride in a tram that surrenders? I sure as hell wouldn't!

What’s wrong, biscuit? Peppermint Crisp is excellent for you. It’s the eighth South African food group, according to the Department of Health. Should represent five percent of your daily caloric intake.”“You’re lying,” I mumbled.“No, I’m not. Nestlé lobbied hard for that. The police never found the Health Deputy Minister’s body.”I pulled away to look up at him. “Are you serious?”“Absolutely. Peppermint Crisp is a very serious business, here.

He laid her carefully on a bed of kale and daikon radish, and there, under the hot summer rain, he planted his secret seed in her. – Calypso Cooter, Enslaved by The Billionaire Microgreens Farmer.

Preston tore away the greasy Whopper wrapper to reveal a small velvet box. “Yes, I only pretended to be a bum to see through you, Charity. And I have.” – he went down on one knee – ”So, Charity Angel, will you marry me?” Alabama Skye, Her Billionaire Bum.

I couldn’t do it. My eyes fell on the glass of water the waiter had served me earlier; I made a lightning-quick decision. Grabbing Krakky – yeah, that was his name now – I pulled him out of the plate and threw him in my water glass, watching with relief as he settled there. “I’m saving mine for later.

Forgive me, Nut Jesus, I think I kicked that poor guy in the balls for the third time.

I’m sorry for being a little tense, Island. I suppose I’m not used to having guests in the front seat. My clients usually ride in the trunk, you know.