184 Quotes by Dave Chappelle

If you look at life, anything in life through the framework of money, you will miss most of the picture.

I don't get mad at a photograph because it wasn't taken today

So sometimes I'll make up sh*t that's not even slang, just to see how they handle it and sh*t. It'll be the same thing, they just go:"All right, we're gonna close the deal. Is that fine with you, Dave?""Yeah, it sounds good to me.""Great. You have a good weekend, Dave.""All right, buddy. Zip it up, and zip it out."He'll be like..."Uh... All right. Zippity-doo-dah, bye-BYE.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

The bottom line is no matter what happens to you, you got to keep going; and bitterness is quite cumbersome. Jokes is a way of shaking that off, processing something with the alchemy of levity.

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

The language you are about to hear... is disturbing.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.