175 Quotes by David Cross

Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed."

I don't mean this to sound hyperbolic but there are increasingly, albeit really minor, similarities between now and how Germany was lulled into what happened pre-WW2.

Then I will tape the sets and even though I`m not very successful sometimes I will try to cut out the fat and put the jokes closer together.

I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.

I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.

It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.

Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let's put another one of me out there."

I've never thought of myself as a hoity-toity cultural critic.

Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.