175 Quotes by David Cross

We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.

High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know...

I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.

Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.

'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.

James Lipton: The most pompous arrogant failure in history.

It's just an easy catchall to describe a style because there are a lot of alternative comics who are completely different from each other.

I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.

I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.